My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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