We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
