That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
