pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
