Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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