I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
