is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
