john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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