Where did you get a picture of my penis
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
