i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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