The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
