Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
