Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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