FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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