one might say we're banned from that church
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
