i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
