the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
