Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
