I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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