we have officially lost it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize