When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
