he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
