Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
