The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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