The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
