So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
