I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
