Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
