sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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