i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize