Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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