What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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