come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
