Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
