Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize