I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
