maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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