When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am available for nakedness
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
