You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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