i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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