tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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