New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
