Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
