ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
