I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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