when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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