he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
