Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
