yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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