Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize