come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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