i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
