Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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