no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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