At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You are the jesus of drinking
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
