Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I could make wine with my vomit
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hippo gnu deer
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
