thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
