Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
