Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The air was thick with penises
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
