mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
