i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
