So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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