with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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