So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
