I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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