Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
