brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
